Twelve years ago I had been happily married for 7 years, and did not have kids yet. I was working and going to school full time. We had a great life, I believe some people call it DINK (double income no kids). We traveled and played often.
I started having what I called hip pain, but now I know it was connective tissue pain. I limped when ever moving, and hurt really bad. I figured it was due to working out, or that I had put some kind of strain on it.
I started seeing chiropractors, and doctors, and any natural healer I could find. No one seemed to find anything wrong with me. I had blood tests, x-rays, cortisone shots, and whatever else they threw at me.
This went on for 2 years before I got pregnant. Once pregnant for about 12 weeks, the pain was gone! I hadn't linked the two, but I was just happy to be pain free. I had a great pregnancy, no sickness, no pain, no problems. I did request from my doctor to let me take progesterone during my first trimester. I had had three miscarriages prior and was told that this might help. I took it and held onto the baby without any problem.
After by baby was born, I breast fed for about 8 weeks and gave up due to everything I ate caused her to SCREAM. I never went on a all vegetable diet, but I know pretty much every time she nursed about 10 minutes later I paid for it. Anyhow, about 12 weeks after she was born all my pain came back. I thought it was because I had quit breast feeding, and I was sure that on my next kid I would keep nursing as long as possible to keep the pain gone.
I started my journey for a cure again, and got no where. I lived on VIOXX which in my head was a miracle drug. Anything that took the pain away was great. Soon it was off the market and I had to result to Ibuprofen (which hardly worked) and what ever drugs the doctors thought would help. I had muscle relaxers for sleeping because my back would tighten up so bad I would toss and turn, and cry nightly. I had Loratab and helped me sleep a little. Sleeping was miserable for me, I would sleep in our recliner often, or take hot bathes in the middle of the night and just cry and cry due to all my pain. I couldn't find anything that worked.
WOW just thinking back is making me cry. All the pain I went through and nothing to fix it. I contemplated shooting my self many, many, many times. I thought about taking lots and lots of pills, but worried they would just make me sick and not work. The only thing that kept me from killing myself was my sweet little baby, my mom and family, and husband who was so good with me but knew he couldn't help. My baby didn't deserve for me to be so selfish. what would she do without a mom. How selfish could I be to take that away from her. Here I sit crying, just thinking back on how bad it was.
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